i just google imaged poop.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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