is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
