the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
