My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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