You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize