You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
