guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
