So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
