Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
