Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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