my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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