You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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