So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
