absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
