Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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