i just had sex bonerless
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
