Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were trust falling into bushes
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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