is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
