i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
