I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
