Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize