god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You can't special order awesome
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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