Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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