Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
