Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just puked most of my soul out..
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