I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
