you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
