I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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