I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize