Barsexuality is the new black.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
