Well douche your snatch and let's go!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
