Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
