Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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