I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
