So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize