The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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