Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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