wanna go halves on a baby?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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