It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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