i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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