i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
