member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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