The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
