yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize