She's JV to your varsity
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
