You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
3pm strippers are depressing
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
