This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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