Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
