She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
