I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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