are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
