Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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