Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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