I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
