My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
