Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
