Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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