Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
