we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
