he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Come see our sink grown plant.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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