well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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