On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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